Why is it so easy to always want something you don’t have instead of being happy with what you do have? I’m not the first or the last person asking this and that only proves how many of us suffer from the same problem. It’s so easy to forget what we do have and always wish for something more. So easy to take things for granted and complain about not having more.
In my life for example, when I think about it I’m sure I’ve a lot more good than bad. I’m healthy and so are all the people who are close to me. I have an opportunity to study what I want and to work in my dream job. I have a loving family and a boyfriend and just right amount of good friends. I have it all…
…so what is missing? I wish I knew the answer. I just feel I want something more. Some kind of excitement, something new, something to be passionated about. I am passionate about many things but right now I don’t feel it. Everything feels just dull and I miss something fresher. I miss having something that I can’t stop thinking about. Something that rules my thoughts.
I was never very good at dealing with everyday life. It’s OK for a while but I’ve always started to get frustrated rather sooner than later. Some people are made for that kind of thing. They love their routines, love their homes, their cooking and cleaning, their everyday conversations, movie nights and all the rest of it. And there’s certainly nothing wrong with that. I enjoy those things too but only sometimes. I actually wish I enjoyed them more. I wish I liked routines more. That I wasn’t such an idealist.
I don’t really know what’s wrong with me or how to cure this kind of an issue. I do know though what would make it better – even temporarily. That would be traveling. It always makes it better. It always calms me down to go somewhere new, to see something I haven’t seen before. Unfortunately I can’t have this medicine right now. I have to stay here and study for at least another month. And then – then I’m going to BF’s home country. Yeah, that is traveling and I’m glad to go, but since it’s a place I’ve been in many times before it’s not quite the same as going somewhere new. But at least it’s something and might make me forget these weird feelings for a while.
I also plan to travel somewhere else after this summer. Somewhere I’ve never been before… somewhere totally new.