I’ve spent last three days mostly in bed. No, not because of sex. I wish that was the reason but no. I’ve just been ridiculously tired and wrecked, both physically and mentally. And there has been a situation with bf too. I’m not going into details but I was out Friday night and acted stupid. I didn’t do anything absolutely horrible but acted in the ways I shouldn’t have. Not that bf is innocent either cause he was nasty and caused me going out but I can’t blame him for the ways I acted. So now we’ve been not so OK. First we argued but now it’s just kind of a silent level. We talk a bit but spend most of our time by ourselves. I don’t really know what he is thinking right now but I hope he will tell me at some point.
So I’ve been sleeping a lot. A lot more than usually and it seems the more I sleep the more sleepy I am. Saturday I did absolutely nothing else but yesterday I did go out for a while cause the election was on and I wanted to go and watch it in one pub. Today then again… bed. I was planning to go to university but I didn’t, I was planning to go to gym but I didn’t and I was planning to go and donate my blood but I didn’t do that either. But I did do some school work and I’m still going to do more so at least that’s good. I just don’t feel like myself at all and I think, well, I know it has a lot to do with the situation with bf. I don’t like when we are like this but then again sometimes it’s good to let things calm down a bit and give him a little time.
Tomorrow though I must get up and start to do something. I must go to the university and to gym and maybe even do that blood donation thing. I’ve been planning to go for too long again and think my last time was somewhat a year ago so I really should go. And I will, this week anyway. I just hope I don’t start to feel as weak as I did last time I was there.
It was weird because usually I’ve been OK after it but last time I nearly collapsed. It didn’t even happen straight away but after I had sat down a while and drunk and eaten a little. I just suddenly started to feel very weird and couldn’t see properly and needed to ask one guy near me to call the nurse. She came to me just in time and made me lie down on the floor my legs up on the chair. There I was while everybody stared at me. After a while the feeling went away so I left to go to one class. But then it happened again while I was there and I needed to do the whole laying on the floor thing all over again in front of people I hardly knew at all. Classy.
So yes, I hope I don’t need to repeat that now again. I think that time I had drank too much coffee and too little water before going there so maybe that’s why it happened. Well I’ll make sure I now drink a lot of water beforehand! It’s anyway a small thing to do to help the others and if the worst thing that can happen is to feel a little weak it’s not the end of the world. If I ever need blood because of some accident or whatever I’ll be happy that people do that kind of thing. In my country donors aren’t paid for donations (to make it safer because if donors were paid some could do it for money and lie about their health etc) but I think the good feeling I get from doing it is enough of a payment.